insurgents | OPEN POST.

It's a nowhere type café in a nowhere type of place, and Trish is looking desperately out of place with her designer clothes and naked confusion.

An anonymous tip had told her that she would find answers here, in this little town that seems to not be much more than a street, and she has no idea how to even start looking.

She has no trouble believing that IGH, the organisation that may or may not be responsible for Jessica's extraordinary abilities, have tentacles all over, but what could they be doing here?

She'd had such a good gut feeling about that tip! Maybe she needs to get her guts checked...

Bruce himself is none the wiser as he walks down that main street, coming closer and closer to the café where Trish sits. He's actually thinking about how long he's been here, and how he really should start thinking about moving on soon. It's been nearly a month and he never feels safe or comfortable staying in the same place that long, not anymore anyway.

He's about to get a very definite proof that he shouldn't be here anymore, as well as a bitter reminder of all that he's left behind in New York. But he couldn't come back, he couldn't-- it was all too much. After Wakanda, he just needed to go away for a while, to be by himself. He certainly couldn't stay with the team, not anymore.

The blond hair doesn't ping him right away, even though in this particular place, blondes aren't exactly a common sight. It's not until he's close enough to pick on the little gestures and mannerisms that he starts to panic, and even then he thinks he must be imagining things. He has to be, it has to be his his mind playing tricks on him, a ghost haunting him in his waking hours now as much as it does in dreams.

He still debates on turning around and going back, or hiding somewhere until he can see the woman's face and make sure it's not Trish, but before he can decide, she's turning on her seat, glancing over her shoulder and looking straight at him, and he's just standing there, rooted in his spot, unable to even so much as pretend like he didn't see her.

It's obvious that he did, even more so now that he knows for sure that it is her.

This is the second time in her life that Trish finds herself reunited with someone who decided that they couldn't handle sticking around. At least Jess chose to come back to her. Bruce... Would he ever have gotten in touch again?

She gets out of her seat, folding her arms across her chest as if to physically hold herself together.

Fuck, it hurts to see him.

"Hello, Bruce."

It is a cold greeting to match the icy fury in her eyes.

Bruce in turn draws in on himself, shoulders hunching in a way that makes him seem shorter the closer she is to him. He's not sure what he expected from her when he saw her again - if he saw her again - but for the simple fact that he hadn't even thought about it, any reaction at all is a shock to him.

A pretty unpleasant one too, what with the tone in her voice, and the ice cold look she gives him. He opens his mouth to answer, but it takes him a moment to manage to say anything, his voice a little cracked and quiet.

"Trish. I..." Feeling his throat dry, he pauses, licking his lips and swallowing. "Hi."

Part of her wants to reach for him, wrap her arms around him and hold him tight and assure herself that he is real. He is alive.

They'd sent an agent to her door, telling her of his disappearance, and she supposes that she should be grateful for that much at least. She could have been left hanging after all. Not that it had been much better to know that he was probably out there somewhere.

She doesn't even know what to say to him now. She let herself love him and apparently that wasn't enough. Fine. But if that was the case she really didn't want to have anything to do with him because it would just hurt too damn much.

"I'll just go."

She picks up her purse and slings it over her shoulder. She'll find whatever information is here, but that doesn't mean she has to spend any time in the same room as the man who broke her already pretty banged-up heart.

For a moment, he actually considers just letting her go. Isn't that just the best for her, in the long run? Sure, she's angry now, she's hurting, but with time this too shall pass, and she would be able to go on with her life, maybe even find someone who would be better for her, safer too. His own pain and suffering hardly matter in the grander scheme of things - besides, he doesn't deserve this, her, any of it. He never did.

He watches her grab her things, turn around, take a few steps away from him, but before he realizes it, he's chasing after her. It almost feels like a magnetic pull, and he can't stop himself from nearly running just so he can catch up to her, a hand reaching out for her arm before he can think twice.

"Trish, wait--" He slows down and rounds her side to stand more or less in front of her, hoping that will be enough to get her to stop, even if only for a moment. "Please. Don't... leave. Not like this."

She does stop, glaring daggers at him for daring to touch her. She could've thrown his ass in the dirt for it, but she is still rational enough to not want to risk triggering him, even if she knows better than most how good his control can be.

"Like what? Like you did?"

She wants him to say that she is wrong, that he never wanted to leave her. That for some reason he couldn't come home.

She doesn't think that he will.

The look alone is enough for him to draw his hand away like he's just touched lava, his eyes widening at her blunt and direct words. They only make him hurt more, but he can't fault her for them, or for how she's feeling; she's right to feel this way, after all.

It doesn't make it any easier for him to even begin to explain why he had to leave, though. Why he had to leave her like that.

"I'm sorry."

Of course it's worth very little, but it's painfully genuine, that much is clear in every line in his face.

"I had to... I just-- I couldn't go back. I wanted to, so much... I wanted to see you, but it's not..."

His breath hitches, and he lifts up a hand to cover his own eyes for a moment. After a second or two, he drops it back down, shaking his head.

"New York just wasn't safe for me anymore. And I'm not safe to be around. I thought to write you, I just... I didn't know what to say."

Which is why he has dozens of unfinished letters scattered all around the small room he's taking up.

She is torn between a perverse sort of satisfaction over the fact that he is hurting too, and a wish to comfort him that she suspects will never go away. She loves him, after all. She doesn't want him to suffer.

"You could have said goodbye."

If nothing else.

Her eyes are burning like hell and it is struggle to not just break down and weep, but she is not going to let him see her cry. Hell no.

Edited 2016-01-21 02:17 (UTC)

"No, I couldn't."

It would have hurt even more, not to mention that he would have never been able to utter the words once he was actually talking to her. Besides, there was always a small part of him that hoped to see her again, even if under different circumstances.

It's not really going as he thought it would, though.

He bites the inside of his cheek, closing his eyes for a moment again, trying to think of something, anything at all to say to her. His feeble attempt to diffuse some of the tension is a massive failure, especially because when he speaks again, his voice sounds like it's just about to break into tiny little pieces.

"I've been listening to your show."

It is such a typical Bruce thing to say that she feels her heart shatter completely when she hears the words.

Of course he has to go and be a complete dork about even this.

"The astronomy week was for you."

Her voice too is brittle as she admits it. She hoped for a while that maybe he was listening, back when she had still hoped that he would come back.

Now, it makes her feel like such a fool.

Edited 2016-01-21 02:27 (UTC)

He smiles at her words then, for what feels like the first time in ages. It even hurts a little, but he suspects it's more of an emotional pain than a physical one.

"I admit, I had hoped it was."

But then he probably hoped for most of the things she said to be directed at him, even the smallest lilts in her voice or the standard greetings and parting words. It weakened his resolve to stay away, little by little - and yet, he never went back.

"I'm... so happy that you're alright."

Physically, anyway. Still working. Not a complete mess like he is. He tries to keep back the words he wants to say, but he can't, and they spill out of him before he even realizes it.

"I missed you so much."

"You know, I never thought you were a cruel person but I'm starting to change my mind about that."

She knows he doesn't mean to be hurtful, but that doesn't change the fact that his words cut her like a thousand knives.

"You left me. I haven't heard a word from or about you for months, and it would have stayed that way if it hadn't been for this total coincidence, and you're telling me that you've missed me? Fuck that!"

She is shivering with rage and sadness, all the hurt she has been keeping tucked away deep inside welling up and out to crash over Bruce like a wave.

"You forced me to figure out how to try to get over you, how to move on. I never wanted to do that. I love you so much you asshole, and you made me wish I didn't, so don't tell me you missed me. You knew where I was the whole time. I would have gone anywhere if you hadn't been too much of a coward to ask."

He knows she doesn't mean to be hurtful, but at the same time, he knows he deserves it. He caused her pain after all, and as they say, you get what you give. Serves him right for not saying anything, for not even trying to call or so much as write her. He may have had his reasons, which at the time seemed most logical and plausible, but right now he's struggling to make sense of them, let alone explain them to her.

So, he listens to her in silence, unmoving, because that's about the only thing he can do for her right now. To let her spill all those thoughts and feelings on him, to let her unload what she's been holding in all this time, because of him.

"I know."

All of that, he means. That he was cruel, that he hurt her, that he's a coward and an asshole, and that she loves him but wishes she didn't. He both hopes and dreads that she might not love him one day, too - but right now he can't even lie that that one remark does soothe the ache in his heart, just a little bit.

"i thought you'd be better off away from me. I didn't want SHIELD to find me either..." He trails off. Guess that's pointless now. If she's here, they probably know where he is already. "I'm sorry. I just... it's all I know, running. It's not an excuse, I know, and I know I am a coward. I just... wanted you to be happy, to be alright."

It looks like he's failed spectacularly.

"I'm sorry, Patricia. I'll leave. I promise you won't have to see me again. Please, just..." His expressions twists again, and he swallows dryly, his voice unsure. "Remember the good times, please? And that I love you too."

She wants to call him a liar, she wants to deny that he loves her because how can he love her if he did this? But she can't, because she knows things aren't always that simple.

Jessica disappeared too, buts he knows without a shadow of doubt that her sister loves her. That she always did.

She has forgiven Jessica, maybe one day she'll be able to forgive Bruce too.

She feels some of her rage ebb away, the worst edge taken off by her furious outburst. She lets out a shivery breath, no longer bothering with trying to stop the tears from running down her cheeks.

"I was happy with you. If you needed to go... fine."

She's not letting him off the hook, but she still loves him too much to not let him know that she does know that sometimes you just can't say why you have to go.

"But don't make it about protecting me. I never needed to be protected from you."

Maybe the rest of the world did, what the hell does she know, but she is absolutely certain that he was never a danger to her.

He desperately wants to reach out and wipe those tears from her face, but he doesn't. He's sure she would physically push him away if he even tried. It stings to know that he's the reason why she's crying, when he wanted nothing but the opposite, but he can't lie and say he doesn't get why.

After all, imagining their roles reversed, he knows he would feel the same way too. He shouldn't have expected Trish to just be alright.

"I thought about going back, someday. But with everything-- I didn't think you'd want to see me anymore, when I did."

In a month, or a year - would she really just welcome him again? No. It probably would be just as bad as this. He would have had an even worse time trying to cope if she even ended up not showing any emotion at all.

"Not from me. But I wanted to protect you from the things that happen around me. I'm not safe, there's people... I don't know if I'll be safe, going back. I don't even think I'm safe here, or anywhere."

"You were right."

And wrong. She would have been furious to see him, but she can't even imagine a time when she would genuinely not want Bruce to show up again, if nothing else because she would always want to know that he's alive.

The thought of him showing up and her having moved on, maybe even started a relationship with someone new... it makes her feel as if she has physically been punched in the gut.

She wipes her tears away, trying to regain some shred of composure.

"I... I want you safe, Bruce. If that means we have to be apart... I'll deal with it."

It'll be easier now that she's gotten to yell at him, though getting over him... yeah that is going to be harder. Especially after him saying that he loves her still.

Her words of agreement hurt a lot more than he thought they would, even though it's what he wanted to hear. Or thought he wanted to hear - now that she's saying them, he realizes he would rather she had insisted he go back, or that she stay with him, find some way for them to stay together.

A moment to stop and think about what to say next would probably be for the best. He knows this. And yet, his mouth opens and his words come unbidden, with a rush of emotion, a hint of fear almost.

"I don't want to be apart."

It's almost pathetic, the way he sounds, but considering she's all but shattered right in front of him, it seems only right that he shows to be as vulnerable as she is. It doesn't bother him, anyway - a long time ago, he remembers, they each other they would share every thought, every feeling, everything.

"I don't know what to do, Patricia. But I miss you so much... I can't go on like this."

His look is pleading, almost as if he's asking her: help me. Help him with what, though? Learning how to live without her, or how to just... live again?

Patricia. No one calls her that but him, and hearing it again feels like when someone prods at a bruise. A dull ache.

"I don't know what you want me to say."

She can't come with him, even if part of her would gladly go on the run if it meant being with him.

She has a whole life back in New York, and while Bruce means a lot to her, so does other people. Like Jessica. She could never leave her sister behind, and she doesn't want to leave her job behind.

"I can't just give up everything and go on the run with you. I don't want to."

Edited 2016-01-21 12:12 (UTC)

"I'm not asking you to."

He wouldn't dream to ask her that. He knows she has her own life back in New York, people she cares about and who love and care about her in return, people who depend on her, even. He would never be so selfish and thoughtless as to even think about having her break away from that life just because of him.

But he can be the one to make an effort, for a change. Not a sacrifice, mind: the sacrifice would be to stay away and continue on with this miserable excuse for an existence.

Sure, going back might come with a whole set of issues for him, but... nothing he hasn't worked through before, right? And if SHIELD hasn't sent anyone to arrest him or bring him back yet, he can keep some hope that they'd help him if he went back. He's not big on asking favors from them, but he would, if only so he wouldn't have to go through the immeasurable pain of parting ways with Trish again.

"But I can go back, with you. If you want me to."

Trish finds herself blinking at him in confusion.

"What?"

After months of complete agony, suddenly he is willing to come back? After all the sleepless nights, the tears... And of course the thing she has yet to tell him about. The way she found to channel all that rage and sorrow and frustration.

Hellcat.

The shock comes as no surprise. It's the opposite of what he'd been planning for himself, in fact had he been asked an hour ago, he wouldn't have thought to go back so easily. Go back someday, reunite with all the people he knows and cares about? Sure, that he thinks about often. But it's never today, it's always a one day kind of scenario.

But now that she's here, the thought of walking away again feels almost like having his insides ripped out of him.

"I'll go back."

His voice still sounds a little shaky, but he doesn't go back on his words, despite the worries and fears he might have.

"It's time I stop running away."

He is willing to go back, and now comes the million dollar question: Does she want him to?

She isn't entirely sure, in all honesty. It's certainly not as simple an answer to give as it would have been some months ago.

What if he leaves again? Can their relationship be rebuilt again? Is there enough trust left for them to actually be together? The fact that she isn't sure is beyond painful.

"How can I trust that you won't just... Change your mind and vanish?"

Edited 2016-01-21 19:30 (UTC)

Of course he knew that was a possibility, though it doesn't make it much easier to deal with it. He tries to steel himself for that answer, tries to get ready to hear her telling him that no, she doesn't want him back, she doesn't want him even around.

He won't go, if that's the case. It will be painful but no more than if he were to be in New York and never see her again. At least the distance might dull the ache in his heart.

"I don't know. I can only give you my word."

Which, he is aware, might not be worth much right now.

Trish isn't good at keeping people at a distance. Not when she cares about them. Once someone has become important to her then that's that, unless they do something absolutely unforgivable she will stick by them through just about anything. She is also not the kind of person who refuses people second chances. Sometimes even when she really should do exactly that.

"Say that you love me. Again."

Her voice is quiet, brittle. For so long she was sure that he didn't love her, or at least she was trying to convince herself that he didn't because that was the only way she could ever move on. She had to believe that he didn't care because otherwise she'd never let go.

But now she wants to hear him say it again. She wants to see it in his face.

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