insurgents | OPEN POST.

[ If there was a way for Bones to chicken out of this, he would have already seized that opportunity. But with the barrier in place and no one stepping forward to try to get them out — where was Spock when you needed him, dammit — he was going to have to buck up and face the music. Just do it, get it over with then they'll never have to speak of it again.

Even if Bones may not be able to forget about it. The doctor steeled himself with a hard frown. ]

I was actually thinkin' about punching you in the face first. [ Or tentatively place his hand on the front of Jim's command tunic. Same thing. The older man wasn't wasn't sure how to go about it but tossing insults and touching seemed as good of a start as any. ]

[ Jim really should expect no less of a reaction from Bones, and it showed in the way he rolled his eyes at that. But he had a feeling he was as uncomfortable about this as Jim was, probably even more so, and that was just his way of coping with it. Probably made him feel less awkward about the way he placed his hand over Jim's chest.

Jim tried really very hard to not let his heart pick up pace at just that. It was ridiculous that it should. ]

Fine by me. I might just be into that, anyway.

[ But this was no good. They were getting an increasingly larger audience, and while Jim couldn't care less if people saw him kissing Bones, this was not how he imagined a possible first kiss between them would go. Not that he imagined it all that often, mind. ]

Alright, since one of us needs to make the first move...

[ Trailing off, he cupped Bones's jaw with both hands, then pulled him close as he leaned in to kiss him, the moves quick and thoughtless before either of them could get too nervous and pull away. ]

[ If Bones weren't so strung up about this whole situation, he probably would have snorted at that. Or frowned, in that disapproving way of his, the way he always gets when Jim will take something he said and make it completely inappropriate.

Instead, his fingers curled into the front of Jim's tunic, knowing what was about to come before the man even said it. It was inevitable, of course, but if Bones had his way, he would have drawn it out even longer, hoping that maybe he'd calm himself down enough to participate indifferently.

That was anything but the case now. Just the feeling of his best friend's hands cupping his face was enough to make the breath get caught in his throat. He responds thoughtlessly, pressing his lips back against Jim's with his eyes shut tight. If this was going to be his only chance, he figured he might as well make the most of it. Enjoy it, for as long as he can before it could (potentially) set their friendship back. ]

[ Staying indifferent was definitely off the table right now, at least to Jim. He just hoped he could chalk it up to the heat of the moment and sweep it under the rug somehow, because the thought of driving Bones away because of something like this was just more than he could bear.

He was actively stopping himself from focusing on that, though. The problem was he had little else to focus on, so he ended up getting his mind flooded with thoughts of Bones, how he smelled when they were this close, how those fingers curled tight into his shirt, or how his lips felt warm and pliant against his own.

Yep, he was screwed. But that worry wasn't nearly strong enough for him to stop himself from tipping his head and parting his lips in a thoughtless attempt to deepen the kiss. ]

[ Bones, on the other hand, could barely focus on anything but his worry. The nagging thought in the back of his mind that, if he didn't stop now, he wouldn't be able to explain away his actions quite so easily.

The only problem was he didn't want to stop. And when Jim tipped his head and deepened the kiss even further, he knew there was no way he could pull away. His own mouth parted in response, pressing and sliding against his as he took everything the younger man had to give.

It wasn't until his tongue dared to trail out and brush against Jim's lower lip that he realized he'd been indulging far too much and for too long. He broke off immediately after that, his eyes wide and fearful, that hand in the man's tunic clasping to him even harder than before.

He should probably say something, but what? The doctor was at a loss, and with his heart thumping wildly in his chest, the only thing he could think about was the nearest escape route. His fingers withdrew from the fabric of his best friend's shirt. ]

I don't think I can do lunch, Jim. I'm sorry. [ One foot moved behind him as he took a step back, back toward the medbay and the office he knew he could lock himself in for the remaining duration of his shift. ]

Edited 2017-01-12 03:51 (UTC)

[ Jim let out a surprised hum when he felt Bones's tongue run along his lip, and it took all in him not to let out an audible gasp when Bones broke the kiss. If Bones looked wide-eyed and terrified, Jim looked wholly like a deer caught in the headlights, heart fluttering in his chest at a speed so dizzying Jim wasn't even sure what was up and down anymore.

And then Bones was pulling away, visibly forcing himself to step back and put some distance between them. The words drove that home, the whole of his reaction settling like heavy led in his stomach, whatever high he'd felt from the kiss quickly crashing down into the ground as he realized—

Shit. Shit, he ruined this. He tried for more than he should and right now it felt like he was just on the brink of losing his best friend over it. ]

Bones— hold on. Please. [ It was hard to swallow down the panic but he did his best, taking the steps twice as fast and closing the distance between them again. He reached out for one of Bones's arms, which was when he noticed most of the sickbay staff watching them. He cleared his throat pointedly, which at least made most of those stares scatter almost immediately. ]

I'm sorry. [ Felt like the most important thing to say right now. Also the truest. As much as he'd liked kissing Bones, it wasn't worth him pulling away from Jim like this. He couldn't bear knowing he'd broken this beyond repair. ] Can we talk somewhere? Or I can talk, and you can listen. That's fine too.

[ Bones' heart seized in his chest when he felt the hand around his arm. Whether it was more out of sorrow or panic, he wasn't exactly sure. If he could get a moment alone maybe he could sort things out, figure out a course of action and, if possible, a halfway decent excuse for why responded the way that he did.

He didn't want to have to lie to Jim — just the mere thought of it was enough to wrack him with guilt — but he knew he couldn't tell him the truth. Not if they wanted to stay friends, and especially not if Jim didn't feel the same way.

The doctor bit down on his lower lip, wondering if he should pull away and make a run for his office. He knew he couldn't, though. Not when his best friend is asking him to stay, to listen. It wouldn't be the first time he asked him to do something he was terrified to do. With any luck, it won't be the last.

The doctor nodded silently, his gaze lifting up toward the door. ]

I was goin' to go back to my office. [ He admitted, in a softer tone than usual. Gentle, just like the steps that he takes across the medbay, knowing that Jim would be right behind him. ]

[ That Bones even thought this would be enough for Jim to not speak to him again was beyond him, honestly. Even if he hadn't wanted that kiss— and at this point Jim was pretty sure his actions had very much proved the opposite. So far as he was aware, him deepening the kiss had been the main reason why Bones had pulled away from him, after all. He couldn't really blame Bones for that.

Nodding, he gestured for Bones to lead the way, following after and making sure the door was locked behind him. The room suddenly felt much smaller than the last time Jim remembered being here, the air stifling. He tried to ignore that, as he did the tension that made him stand too awkwardly still. ]

I got... carried away. [ To put it mildly, and to not get into too many details. Mostly because he figured Bones wouldn't want to hear them. ] It was wrong of me, and I'm sorry if it made you uncomfortable. I get it if you're upset with me, too. But I promise you, it won't happen again.

[ And if he had to chase down the culprits for this practical joke just to stop the stupid plants from ruining their friendship, then he sure as hell would. ]

Are we alright, Bones? I mean, you're not gonna start avoiding me or something like that, right?

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